A Letter to Srimati Malati d.d.

BY: MANIDHARA DAS

Dear godsister Malati devi dasi, 
Please accept my most humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

Do you remember still?

Do you remember the days we joined, me in Europe, you in USA? 
Do you remember how we went on sankirtan almost instantly?
Do you remember how we jumped high in bliss in the kirtan?
Matajis and Prabhus alike?
Do you remember how we went out and distributed Srila Prabhupada's books in these ecstatic marathons, reading His letters blessing us over and over again? Didn't we cry, our eyes closed in bliss?

You may not know me, it is long time ago my name was on the top of the International sankirtan newsletter. But I am still here, going out occasionally on sankirtan, always ready to assist anybody doing so.

Can you imagine, I used to take out girls like you on the street, managing vans full of them. Me, the Manidhara das brahmacary. A rather unusual situation in very unusual times. I saw girls like you crying in despair on the street and crying in ecstacy while returning after a week of book distribution to the temple.

Do you still remember these days? No? I can take you any time out on sankirtan again and make you remember.

When looking in the mirror every day putting on tilak what do you see? Look at your face and ask a simple question: "If this would be now 1972 and I would be a young girl again, meeting women like this, would I join the Hare Krsna movement?"

I can answer for you: "I don't think so."

The frustrated faith and bitterness of the years which passed by made its mark on your face. The face marked by what we had to see. Surely, many things we met on the way were not pretty. There is not one "senior" survivor of those days who doesn't have his tale of sorrow to tell.

We could be bitter and frustrated to the end of the days we are still meant to spend in this body, isn't it? Why? Why shall we do so? Why the bitterness marking your face has to become your trademark? Who will join this? Who will be inspired by this? Look in the mirror again!

Surely, we saw sannyasis living like retired industrial tycoons. Surely there are those who live like this today. We saw many falling down, disappearing in maya's abyss. What does it matter? Can you change it? I don't think so. And so why do you have to attack a sannyasi who is not guilty of such hedonistic life style? Somebody who sleeps on the floor, wakes up in the morning, goes to mangala arotika and preaches chastity?

What happened? Did your bitterness and frustration cover your sight?

Are you so sorry that our youthful body's gone that your bitterness has to take this aggressive shape? Well, we are not this body, isn't it? Isn't this what we heard forty five years ago?

And so mataji, please lets become happy again. Nobody will join an old bitter women. But everybody will be inspired to see a women growing old with dignity, still engaged in active service, blissfully giving Krsna Consciousness to the conditioned souls. Let's put your academic learning aside, let's put the slokas you learned to praxis and lets engage in simple street hare nama and street book distribution.

Once again, I can come over and take you out on the street if you permit me to do so. Will you forgive me when the institutional position you hold has absolutely no meaning to me? Will you forgive me when I perceive you as a godsister only, somebody who once upon a time met Srila Prabhupada with the same innocent excitement I did?

Could we just remember our spiritual master, forget this innovated "ISKCON of today" and simply go out and distribute few books? You cannot imagine how many may rejoice to see your face beaming in ecstacy again when you first time after long time distribute a book of Srila Prabhupada to a conditioned soul! Let the resolutions be resolved, they have no meaning for the conditioned soul you will meet on the street.

Don't worry, I am 62 years old, I have no other intention than to see you in bliss standing on the street with Srila Prabhupada's books in your hand. I did helped matajis to go out and distribute books already when I was twenty years old. If still alive they can testify I never meant anything else as them distributing Srila Prabhupada's mercy. I am a scandal free man. And what a service these girls did!

You must have been one of them. Can you still remember THAT Malati devi dasi? What happened? How did you became this bitter women who dares to attack those we used to respect?

So why don't we go back to the street where we started and start over again. You, Srila Prabhupada's servant and me Srila Prabhupada's servant too. No guru career, no institutional designations, no arrogant speeches, no bitter faces, just servant of the servant. Wouldn't that be nice? Maybe you would miss the next GBC meeting. Who cares? Don't worry, the world will go on.

Wouldn't then be many inspired to see a dignified Malati devi dasi, still trying to honor Srila Prabhupada's books by distributing them? This could save us from disgrace.

It's never too late. Maybe you are physically not fit for this service anymore? You cannot stand for hours on the street and distribute books? Don't worry, not me either. But just by trying to do so, what an inspiration that would be for the young ones to come. A blissful ecstatic Malati devi dasi... wouldn't that be inspirational?

See you in the next book distribution marathon.

Your godbrother, 

Manidhara das