Second Conversation With Srila Sridhara Maharaja, Part 6

BY: SUN EDITORS - 7.8 2023

BCS: Now that they are failing to show proper respect to you. What are we to understand from that?

SM: Bengali:
Maybe you will consider that I am not a fit person to give proper advice. My advice may not be actually according to proper consideration. This question is very difficult for me to answer. The other day (name) came to me with the case concerning (name). Please let me say what I want to say and clarify this point and then we can discuss further. (name) came the other day to find out whether all the crying and singing and laughing of (name), whether they were genuine feelings or not, whether they are genuine symptoms of ecstasy or not. So I said, no. First, I gave the scriptural injunction, and then I said that Caitanya Mahaprabhu has explained that it is very difficult ______________________________.

That I am crying is merely to get name and fame. This is so on a high platform. Lastly I pointed out that your spiritual master did not point out or manifest these symptoms in public, then why is he trying to go above your guru? At this (name) was satisfied and he said, "Yes, it is all right. I have got what I have come for." This brought out the ultimate point and he did not require any other points further.

Swami Maharaja had earlier approached me to train up some boys, but first he sent them to Bon Maharaja, disciples like Acyutananda, Ramanuja and some others. But Bon Maharaja, he took one away from your guru maharaja and made him into his own disciple and then he wrote to me in the name of Govinda Maharaja asking me to look after the boys. That letter I still have. So Acyutananda and Ramanuja came first and he wanted me to train them up. As he always had great trust in me that I will not make a disciple out of his disciple. For this reason he would come to me and also he knew me from earlier days. Pisima had taken hari nama diksa from Bhaktisiddhanta Srila Prabhupada and she had come to me for the second initiation. At that time I decided not to give any diksa because I thought myself unfit. But yet on the other side there was Bhaktisiddhanta Srila Prabhupada's order to give diksa pracar. So I was wavering between these to points. On one side, my guru's orders and on the other side I thought myself unfit and not to give diksa. [-->]

But more the point that I did not want to give was more prominent. I went to Sripad Nityananda Prabhu's place and there I felt an urge to give diksa. And then reading Srila Jiva Goswami I came across a point where it said that I should give what I have. If I don't give what I have then I am a cheat, short. All these points, and Bhaktisiddhanta Srila Prabhupada was always in favor of kirtan and pracar. All these points, so when Pisima came I had to turn her away. Many people had come, many many nice people had come, but I had to turn them away, all of them. They all wanted me to become acarya. Madhav Maharaja and Kesav Maharaja would not have become acaryas if I had taken up this post of being acarya. They all wanted me to become the acarya and if I had become acarya then they would not have become. Especially Madhav Maharaja and Kesav Maharaja, and many others, even Jagjivan Maharaja. They started initiating because I did not want to initiate. So your Srila Prabhupada had great faith in me that I will not try to lure away one of his disciples. I did not want to become a big person. That is not in my nature. I did not want to move around with many people. I'm just satisfied with whatever I have. I am only concerned about my high thinking. That is my life. My spiritual thinking is my life.

The conclusions of the scriptures, the advices of the mahajanas, to relish them and practice them, and to discuss them in a small confidential circle, that is the main goal of my life. That's why he used to trust me. That's why he used to send his disciples to me. Because he knew that I will teach them the truth and I will not take them away unlike many others. That's why he used to come to me. He used to like me and he used to enjoy discussing with me. There are many points in Bhagavad-gita, very subtle points, like I was telling the other day that sloka "tesam satata yuktanam, bhajatam priti purvakam, dadami buddhi yogam tam, yena mam upayanti te." Here this upayanti te, this upa is parakiya. Once I discussed this point with him and he agreed. And he said that at this point there cannot be anything else but the parakiya rasa of Vraja. He agreed with me a supported me, although this was my conception. These four are the four main slokas of Bhagavad-gita "aham sarvasya pravhavo…" [-->]

In my book called Prapanna Jivanamrta which I wrote about thirty years back, I explained this as Radha dasya, the servitorship to Radharani. Here there is a hint of the servitorship to Radharani. "aham sarvasya pravhavo, mattah sarvam pravartate, iti mattah bhajante mam, buddha bhava samanvitah. Krsna is telling that everything has been introduced by Him, even the service to Him also has been introduced by Himself, "has been introduced by My potency which is non-different from Me." With that conception if we want to serve Krsna, if we try to serve Krsna, then that service is through the submission to the spiritual master, following the spiritual master, following Radharani. In the Bhagavad-gita in remote connection, this link is there. I wrote that. I was extremely enchanted with the meanings of the scriptures, with the teachings of the scriptures. That's how I used to pass my time, discussing about these intricate instructions inwardly and along with that I used to do some preaching on the side. And that also, in the kind of circle. [-->]

When I used to stay next to his house in Sheetakanta Banerjee Lane he used to come to me quite often and for a long time we used to discuss about these subjects. There used to be an exchange of understanding. That's why he used to know me quite well. In Allahabad also, along with Tapasi Maharaja, I went to his house, gave lectures, and brought him to our Math. Before that he met Srila Prabhupada once. Once of his friends took him to Srila Prabhupada at Ulta Danga and just by seeing Srila Prabhupada he realized that at last the responsibility of spreading the teachings of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu has fallen on the shoulder of such a person who will do something about it, who will spread it all over. Now this responsibility has fallen on a real qualified person. It was his realization. [-->]

And then in Allahabad I was the media to attract him to this par[_?] Then in Sheetakanta Lane, Bombay, many other places, I was with him. When Bon Maharaja came back from England and we met in Bombay and he had many questions and I started giving the answers to them, then he commented that "Today Europe has been defeated by Asia." He saw that after preaching in Europe quite extensively, the doubts, the questions, that he had in his mind. I answered them and dispelled his doubts. That's why he commented like that. I always had a close connection with him and there was confidential exchanges. That's why he used to trust me so much. He had his confidence in me in both ways. He could trust me in my behavior and he used to trust me about my spiritual realization. That's why he used to feel happy to come to me.